Thursday, July 29, 2021

120

when I go on vacation
my job grinds to a halt,
too much goes undone
for I have no gestalt

to support my back
when I do drop,
so all my plans
just... stop. 

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

119

I offered to step up
you told me to sit down
and now I'm waiting
cuz you're running around
too busy to answer
a pivotal cue.
I'm twiddling my thumbs,
waiting for you. 

Tuesday, July 27, 2021

118

a stolen second
glance in your
direction

a stolen second
chance for your
attention

a stolen second
ticks by without
either of us
noticing 

Monday, July 26, 2021

117

I was 25
and I said to her
hey, do you want to
see something awesome?

and she said
no.

I was 26
and I said
do you want to
see something cool?

and she said
no.

I was 27
do you want to
see something neat?

no.

do you want to
see something fun?

no.

do you want to
see something beautiful?

no.

do you want to
see something crazy?

no.

something weird?
something bizarre?
something that will blow your mind?

no.
no.
no.

I was 34
and I said to her,
hey, do you want to
see me?

and she said
yes. 

Sunday, July 25, 2021

116

I started the year alone,
just my notebook and my phone...
it comes with little surprise
with wider open eyes
that I don't need to atone

for the sparse days missed.
when hope finally kissed
the fate at my feet...
living more complete
people who care and insist

and deserve my attention.
they've earned my attention.
who am I to deny
what I've ached for my life:
people who care who don't care about succession.

Friday, July 23, 2021

114

in the quiet of the day
when they've all gone to play,
and I'm left behind,
just me and my mind,
and the sky turning grey...

hear the loudness of the sound,
the cacophony in which we drown,
little chirps and moans,
little squeaks and groans,
once background, now foreground...

that's where the madness reaches:
from the cracks and the breaches,
from the air, from the wood,
from above, from underfoot...
that's where the madness preaches.
 

Wednesday, July 21, 2021

112

penance
for every five more minutes
of sleep
paid in
thirty minute increments
for the rest
of my life 

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

111

why do you keep
leaving things
instead of growing and adapting?

why do people keep
beating me over the head
with how they're so much better than I am?

practice won't make me better.
practice won't make them kinder.
practice just reminds me
that all too often
I shouldn't bother. 

Sunday, July 18, 2021

109

love the quiet hate the noise,
love the wide open road,
where the blue merges with green
and the second hand in slowed...

in the out and alone
is where I find my peace,
but in the in and alone
always bothers me...

did I say something did I do something
did I accidentally push you away?
or maybe you're just out and about,
lost in your first hand day...

Saturday, July 17, 2021

108

too many ideas and
not enough time,
everything comes through
and weighs on my mind...

and don't trust them
to do worthy work,
so I hoard the ideas
until overwhelming hurts...

or alternatively,
they get forgot.
lost to purgatory
or left to rot.

Friday, July 16, 2021

107

so many things I want to say
but no matter how I rehearse,
sometimes it just easier
to put it into verse.

thinking on feet ain't my strong suit,
I'd rather plot it out a'fore
so when the timer gets ticking
I know my way around the floor.

but I worry I'll overwhelm you,
from too many things to say,
this is the seventh poem
that I've written TODAY... 

Thursday, July 15, 2021

106

how do you prepare for a test
that you cannot study for?
by doing the best you are capable of
and hoping they don't demand more.

it's easy to get lost in the badlands
when the threat starts closing in,
but the goal is surviving,
not in trying to win.

it's easy to be an animal
enslaved to Flight or Fight.
it's hard being human
trying to do what's right.

all I can do
is what I think is best,
and not be driven by fear
from the coming test.

all I can do
is weather the coming storm,
be my self and, above all else,
try to do no harm. 

Wednesday, July 14, 2021

105

of all the things that could hurt me,
the one thing that I fear the most...
that of not being good enough
(and not even coming close).

it's the inspiration for a username,
the reminder I'm human and scared,
the promise I'm doing my best
even if my best is impaired.

it's the source of one of my characters,
and Satis is his name.
he's nothing special (just like me)
but little else is the same;

his world still needs heroes,
his world has dragons to fight,
his world is more strictly divided
between the darkness and the light.

this one is far less polar,
there's too many gradients of greys,
and our paths are less determined
as we stumble through the haze. 

Monday, July 12, 2021

103

not so many songs,
but plenty of lines,
write what you see
which is a sign

that we're looking at
the same pale blue dot.
ideas might be copied
but the angle is not.

even this one is merely
an nth among the best;
it's my perspective which
slightly differs from the rest.
 

Sunday, July 11, 2021

102

but that there were an economy
where we could pay for our sins,
tiny little accidents and
big honking wins,

where you might owe me something,
and we tally up the score,
when I opt to cash it in...
what ideas I have in store

for you to fulfill to
wipe the slate clean...
(it doesn't have to be cruel,
it doesn't have to be mean,

and entirely opt-in)
but if you opt-out
with pending balances...
you figure that part out.

Thursday, July 8, 2021

99

first day missed
and good excuse
but can't tell you...
oops 

Saturday, July 3, 2021

94

it doesn't have to mean anything more,
we don't have to be anything but this,
where we tease and exchange truths,
where we play but never "kiss."

it doesn't have to be something special,
we don't need a contract to sign,
being friendly play partners is good enough,
I don't have to be yours, you don't have to be mine.

and come a day you find someone else,
and they want something more concrete,
I've no hard feelings, you should be with them;
other people will play with me.

and if come a day they break your heart,
and you tumble, trip, and fall...
if you need someone to make you feel worthy,
I'll be there to answer your call.


 

Friday, July 2, 2021

93

Mature Content
The following content may not be appropriate for all audiences.
--

you're holding the leash,
but are you sure you're leading?
I may be collared but
it's my hand that's feeding.

subbing and bottoming
are two different things
and I know more self-care
than it sometimes seems.

though I do like to
encourage you to drive...
maybe you're the one
who needs most to feel alive.

Thursday, July 1, 2021

92

tiptoe round the edges,
dance around the lines,
come out when I'm not looking
and eat up all the flies.

spiders are welcome here,
just leave the webs at home.
there are plenty worse bugs
that never leave me alone.