Monday, May 31, 2021

61

two months down and ten to go
(a sixth of the way around).
a lot of days left, though
plenty of inspiration to be found.

if I right out asked,
they'd make a line at the till
to ask for things to be written...
but the survey still sits at nil.

(there's an easy way to check
the validity of the link:
put a "+" at the end
to see what it thinks.

unless you'd prefer
to type the gobbledygook?)
I'll lay it all out below
if you care to take a look.

https://bit.ly/outsourcedmuse+ = https://forms.gle/nMzT3GSqBPCJfubS8

Sunday, May 30, 2021

60

what would you do if
I just showed up for a day?
didn't get in your face,
didn't infringe on your play,

didn't hang about,
didn't follow you around...
but if you looked,
was there to be found

an unexpected hammock
in the park you walk past;
or strangely familiar face
seen lying in the grass...

not creepy or scary
just suddenly there...
then gone the next day.
would you care?

would you introduce yourself?
would you come up and say hi?
would you invite me somewhere?
or would you escape and hide?

Saturday, May 29, 2021

59

I see the form in my head,
the shape of how it ends,
but can I cast the mold
or did I dream too bold?

Friday, May 28, 2021

58

outside the rain patters on the roof
tin eaves pitter at the fall;
in your study you learn and wonder,
dream of worlds beyond your hall.

Thursday, May 27, 2021

57

The only thing I can do
to change the world is vote
but it doesn't matter who I vote for
because we still end up
with a politician.

(twitter)

there's a city near me
sacked with sanctions by the state
for having insufficient
"affordable housing".
there's a new housing project
just spinning up
and the city has no plans
on making it affordable.
there's a punishment
that's ineffective:
they dodge the cost by
passing it to their residents.
there's the problem:
we pay for something
we have no say in.
we are powerless.

there's acres of warehouses
empty, unfurnished,
but not abandoned.
built and never filled.
there's acres of land
all for sale, all for sale,
but zoned for agri,
comm, light indus...
there's miles and miles
of roads of houses,
mcmansions laid out
like stamp collections.
there's me, who wants
to live sustainably,
but the selfishness of others
means I can't.

there's only so many
hours in a week,
paid fifteen an hour
and I can't afford...
there's a world
around me,
and I can't afford
to leave.
there's so much
around me,
and I can't afford
to stay.
there's
nothing
I can
do.

Wednesday, May 26, 2021

56

Mature Content
This content is not appropriate for all audiences.
--

I've been meaning to tell you,
needling and ache,
going to tell you,
screaming insane,
could I tell you,
reaches deep inside me,
everything's empty
and I want to tell you to
make it go away 

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

55

wipe my brow with sweated rust
--tempered blow and heated blush--
water flows and drink and guzz-

-led slurping down my throat
scream and scream and scream and bloat.
I cannot breathe. I cannot go

wash the falling tears away.
I have too much reason to stay.
I have too much reason to stay.

1.
slay the beast and stay the blow,
kiss the snake and mirror glow
and open... and see... and know.

2.
eight round table gather,
but only seven matter,
put the apple upon your platter.

3.
as above and so below,
hold your towel, hold and slow,
answers only, questions no.

4.
whirring and escape your life,
experience another's strife,
intervene and return in time.

5.
burn the metal and see the light,
blessed fortune sought in the night
and fog... try to do what's right.

6.
lost in the space between the stars,
brown and strong and traveling far,
and never lose your free heart.

7.
drown yourself in the green
where nothing's as it seems.
is humankind the losing team?

8.
beneath the cloak, smile widens,
hidden heart and bold defiance,
whisper lantern and friar's alliance.

9.
dragon's egg and dragon's breath,
hunker down and fortress nest,
bold and strong, weak and rest.

10.
journey lost and far and wide,
no where home to rest your hide,
save the world, but lose your mind.

11.
names are overrated anyway,
though the past may change yesterday,
tomorrow is your play.

12.
be what you aren't. try
to stand up high. fly
like a lizard or... die.

13.
drive past the end of the road,
go where nobody dares to go,
flee everything, flee tomorrow.

Answer Key:
1 enders game
2 seven eves
3 hitchhikers
4 dr who
5 mistborn
6 firefly
7 killjoys
8 finci
9 minecraft
10 socrates cavern
11 nobody's son
12 mulan
13 skyway
 

Monday, May 24, 2021

54

two projects in tandem
to help add more lines:
one a random generator
and it's running just fine;

the other a survey
on all my socials, live...
but responses number nil,
to which I'm not surprised. 

Sunday, May 23, 2021

53

53 days come and gone
and my writing mood has risen
aching to set words to page
but something is still missing...

my inspiration fits and stalls,
in dire need of tuning.
need a patchwork fix and fast
so outsourcing my Musing.

taking all suggestions,
giving credit wanted where due,
just complete a little survey
and I'll add it to the queue.

Saturday, May 22, 2021

52

some legs in a passel
and a cold snout to boot
trotting through a forest
freshly filled with food,

barest light filters
through the shifting leaves,
branches barely rustle
very slightest breeze.

and then a glint of something,
a change in the light,
a shape swiftly passing
ignorant in the night.

a body on a bicycle,
legs pistoning on a frame,
pedaling in the darkness,
a person on their way

to some distant place
more there than here,
not looking around,
to intent to care

about a dark shadow
crouching in the brush,
eyes glinting in moonlight:
a patient watching wolf.

Friday, May 21, 2021

51

you think that the rows
trap you inside,
squeeze you into boxes,
make you fall instead of fly.

you think that the columns
tower over your head,
define your limitations,
make you small instead.

you think that the cells
are a prison buried deep,
chaining you down,
an animal to keep.

you think the formulae
rule your every move,
tally up your blessings,
give you nothing left to prove.

but the pages and sheets
show only what quantifies,
reminds me there's so much more
that proves I am alive.

Thursday, May 20, 2021

50

your rules for me are mandatory
but my rules for you bear no weight
you skip as you see fit
ignore the warning on the gate.

I built a something,
an easy way to keep aligned,
don't have to say a word to me,
a checklist for your mind.

I asked you to use it,
I asked at least once a day.
it's been 48 hours...

I complete my half
several times a day,
but as far I can I tell
you've never looked at what I say.

instead you're writing more rules,
and they all apply to me,
more ways to keep me in line,
when you're still acting free.

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

49

dance between the cells,
logic holds the key,
forget the math you wrought
(computers do that for free)

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

48

in the darkness and in the night
resets my balance for my life.
a week out camping resets my clock,
resets my mood back to stock
factory settings.

Monday, May 17, 2021

47

two trees diverged in a fallen scree
and sorry I could not camp here
and put my tent here, long I looked
for flat clear ground over this overlook
to where I could minimize my footprint...

instead, I unlimbered my pack
and pulled out two tree-friendly straps,
and wrapped them snugly around the trees
so they wouldn't slip or scrape bark free,
and hung my hammock in between.

a tent has a footprint of trodden ground,
grass and undergrowth tromped flat,
but a hammock hung true and sound,
hung carefully, carefully bound,
does far less damage than that.

I am telling this with a sigh
somewhere laws and statutes abetted:
two trees diverged in a fallen scree, and I--
I sheltered in the sky,
and left less impact by my passing.

--
Deliberately riffing off "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.
(Yes, I know I butchered both the rhyme scheme and the rhythm.)

Sunday, May 16, 2021

46

I brought the world in with me,
and I'll carry it out again.
the weight upon my shoulders,
the baggage and the pain

of all the things I think
I need to survive the night...
but only half will be unpacked
the rest is just a "might."

but it doesn't belong here,
so I won't leave it behind,
the trash and the refuse,
the waste and the rinds.

everything I thought I needed,
born heavy upon my back,
but all I needed was peace,
that I found on this path.

Saturday, May 15, 2021

45

and what shall I say on the morrow,
now that my collage is come to pass,
forty five days gone
and not a one to rest?

do you have a game you'd like to play,
a code to trouble the world,
something meta buried deep,
or a flag to be unfurled?

do you have a desire
you wish bared upon my page?
well? do you? go on, share it:
you may borrow my stage. 

Friday, May 14, 2021

44

work hard and long
come lay and down
be held,
be loved,
...and sleep 

Thursday, May 13, 2021

43

because I don't have a song for today
and I ask for ideas sent my way
but only crickets come back...
today, this is all you get:

because I don't have a song for today
and I ask for ideas sent my way
but only crickets come back...
today, this is all you get:

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

42

the anesthetic never set in
and I'm wondering where...

you told me not to fall in love...
you told me not to fall too hard...
you told me not to forget how to live without you...

the apathy and urgency is that
I thought I phoned in...

you told me it's final,
that you're going away
and not looking back...

no it's not so pleasant
and it's not so conventional...

and so I didn't...

it sure as hell ain't normal
but we deal, we deal...

but it sure feels like...

sit back, sit back,
relax, relapse again...

you did.

--
Italics from "Camisado" by Panic! at the Disco

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

41

ALERT
Action Required
Mandatory Compliance Training
Your mandatory compliance training
is due in 21 20 19 18 17... days

been telling my boss for months
I need a new computer
W7 and post-EOL don't a
secure workstation make.

couldn't light a fire
under his ass
if you coated it
in magnesium shavings.

but threaten compliance...
and suddenly he starts
making promises...

(which he'll probably
break)

Monday, May 10, 2021

40

legs meet head.

cuddle to sleep.

am I forgetting...

... and then too deep.

Sunday, May 9, 2021

39

Mature content
Today's post is too erotic to publish here.
To read it, please navigate to my nsfw content blog.

Saturday, May 8, 2021

From the Internal Narrative of Callidus Igni

Previous | Index
--

Tertius sat at the desk, a couple stacks of blank receipt books next to him. Quartus and I sat next to him, and I was very carefully keeping my head down. We had a couple of buckets between us and the only copies of the minting manual.

A line had started forming. It was going to be a long day.

Tertius took coins, counted them out, and tallied them in the receipt books. He verified the amount with the player and then passed the coinage to us. We inspected them individually, dropped the suspected counterfeits into the appropriate buckets, and passed what remained back. He did the math, verified it with the player, and tore off the top sheet. He double-checked the carbon came through, and handed the receipt over.

It was dull work, but it needed to be done.

The worst was when we handed nothing back. I buried my head in my hands, trying not to listen to their protests. Whoever was behind it, if they wanted to throw the game into chaos, was doing a far better job of it than my delve into the Major Arcana. And the players had little enough trust of me as it was, I was paying for that already.

Tertius never stood up, never raised his voice... all he had to do was crumple up the receipt. The threat of reducing their wallet to zero was enough. In many ways, that was worse than killing their player, because a new character gets a small allowance until they get strong enough to start earning their way. These players would get no such allowance.

A couple hours in, I heard Panna come up. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her place three pouches on the desk.

"These two are probably all counterfeits. I received them in payment for services from the player no longer among us. The other one should be mostly okay, its contents came from the Master of Coin in currency exchanges." She leaned heavily on the desk, her gaze sharp. "A lot of my income comes in small denominations, and I like to keep my savings in as small of a pouch as possible; makes it easier to hide." Her eyes flicked over to me, without needing to say "In case someone tries to go through my things."

I hadn't snooped, though I had been tempted.

Tertius nodded and dumped the first two on the desk. Quartus spun on her stool at the sound and some chatter rose from the line behind her: Panna was rich by the game's standards, and that was news to many people. He counted it out methodically, building slowly rising stacks of gold, silver, and bronze coins. He wrote down the tallies and Panna watched on disinterestedly, shrugging when he ask her to verify the count. It took several trips to transfer all the coins to our inspection area, and I started on the first while Quartus played runner. I was under strict instructions not to draw attention to myself.

Tertius started a second scrip for the last bag. She had some writs in there already, and the rest was all gold. Tertuis inspected the writs first, pulling out a notebook from somewhere on his person. He stacked them and set them to one side, apparently satisfied. Then he stacked the coins and checked them himself. Only one gold coin drew his suspicion, and he marked it on the receipt.

"Do you want to wait or..."

"Just give me the receipts."

Tertius marked the first receipt as no coinage returned, signed off the second as only one gold confiscated, and passed them over.

Panna folder the writs back into the pouch along with the two receipts, dropped the coins on top, stuffed the two now empty purses into a pocket, and sauntered off.

"Set whatever's left aside for later," he called to us. "More customers coming in."

--
Index | Next

38

it is very difficult
to write a poem
that isn't a message
...to someone
...to everyone
...to myself

even this one
is a failure

Friday, May 7, 2021

37

walls always tumble,
empires always fall,
nothing is permanent,
nothing stays tall,

mountains erode,
cliffs blow away,
waterfalls shrink
and skies turn grey.

everything I write
will zero out too,
the only thing that lasts...

what I do today,
what I say to you,
the bridges we build (or burn)
even entropy can't undo.

Thursday, May 6, 2021

36

we could write a contact
and plot it out to the mote,
chop down every tree,
until we've plotted every note.

we could jump straight in,
both feet, both blind,
the frying pan or the fire,
bdsm bonnie and clyde.

but let's find something
somewhere in between,
a compromise of ourselves,
not someone else's need. 

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

35

Mature Content
The following material may not be suitable for all audiences.

--

it makes me anxious when you turn away,
yo yo yo-ing me without my say.
I want you to want me, I need you to need,
I love when you make me, make me feel weak.

but I hate when you turn your back,
make me beg to not feel your lack,
make me anxious, make me scared,
make me wonder why my heart always tears;

I love when you treat me as small and weak;
but I hate when you degrade me, make me seek
to make myself worthless in my own eyes...
that's something I already struggle with inside.

I love when you use me like your personal toy,
I hate feeling disposable when you lose your joy,
I love when you deny me, I love when you tease,
I love when I'm aroused by the slightest breeze,

I love when I ache when I'm thinking of you...
but I hate...
I really hate...
the emotional pain and anguish you put me through.

Tuesday, May 4, 2021

34

Mature content
Today's post is too erotic to publish here.
To read it, please navigate to my nsfw content blog.

Monday, May 3, 2021

33

Mature Content
The following material may not be suitable for all audiences.

--

if I wanted to be the good guy,
the vanilla, mainline, mundane,
I would have proposed to my high school sweetheart,
but she died before we got a second chance.
and we were both too young,
not that anyone's counting
(two years and fifty-one weeks
(except on leap years)
behind me).

I'm searching for something
I can't ...reach.

fortyhourworkweeks
whitepicketfences
nuclearfamilies
scared me when I was young.
but today I'm one of three
and researching two of three
but I'll never be three...

I'm searching for something
I ...can't reach.

too many tries that ended in pain,
everywhichway still ended the same.
so took a break and the break turned to years...

I'm searching for something
...I can't reach

if demons were real,
if I could trade every remaining year
for one night that blows my mind
(literally)
I'd do it

I'm searching for...

but the devil won't take my calls
so I'm just drifting...

I'm searching...
for something to be.

--
Italics from "Ghost" by Halsey

Sunday, May 2, 2021

32

three and a half hours isn't bad,
especially when it's halfway to somewhere
...somewhere ...someone
and halfway is easier than all the way

it's like going dutch
on a first date
for a long-distance relationship

four hundred miles
(and change)
could be a lot worse

Saturday, May 1, 2021

31

thirty days hath september,
june, and november...
and april sure is true--
but what if it didn't have to?

so many things we try to remember,
every month, jan to december,
everything we honor, everything we do--
but month's end doesn't mean it's through.

mathematics and statistics,
Arab heritage and assault awareness,
prevent child abuse, autism, parkinson's,
all suffer from evanescence.

and even may's got some too,
mental health and for the Jew-
-ish heritage we should embrace...
but one short month is just a taste.

so april may have come to an end,
but it's motives continue to rend;
all still fighting to be seen the same
even if a month doesn't bear cause your name.

so here's the change I foretold:
setting weekly blogs on hold,
still writing, just now in verse,
31+ days endured.