"Ponytail? Check. Goatee? Check. Alright, you're coming with me." The gorilla in sheep's clothing grabs on my arm and hauls me out of the crowded sidewalk into an alley.
"Whoa, hey, wait, what!?"
"You're coming with me, either on your own two feet or on your knees, it's up to you. Are you walking or do I have to drag you?"
The lump of muscle pulled a wallet-sized photo out of an inner pocket and squints at it. "Eh, close enough." He flashes it at me. "That's you, buddy. You're on the list, so you're coming downtown with me."
"Um, actually, we're already downtown. And I don't think that looks anything like--"
"It's just a saying. And of course you'd say it doesn't look like you; you're just trying to pull the wool over my eyes. My damn contacts may be swishing around behind my eyes, but I'm not blind. That's it, up and at 'em."
"What do you mean it isn't him?"
"Sorry Shirley, but you got the wrong one."
Shirley flexed his pecks and growled, and I could feel his arms vibrating from it as he held mine behind my back. I tried not to giggle as I looked back at my captor. Shirley? I must have snorted aloud accidentally, because he glared down his stubby and once-broken nose at me and tightened his grip. I winced and tried to look apologetic, still trying not to laugh.