Saturday, May 26, 2012

Used To

I come here, and sit. I sit here, and watch. I don't come closer, I don't participate. I know I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere but back at my place, alone, nose buried in a book, or staring at a screen trying to write one.

I used to feel senses of belonging, moments in time when I was with others and I didn't feel like I was intruding...

Now, I only feel awkward, like I shouldn't have come in the first place, like even looking longingly on is tresspassing.

I told them I would wear this hat and this feather, and now I just want to stuff it in my bag and take the long way around.

I have made myself a truly solitary creature, and there is no antidote.

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