Saturday, July 16, 2011

I'm Not Afraid of Drowning

I saw a fire go by overhead tonight.
it didn't flash like a plane
it was too large for a satellite

it drifted overhead soundlessly,
over Main St and 31
like a bonfire in flight.

Everybody's out tonight,
but they don't see hawks,
they don't see nature.

they're all stuck
in their own little worlds,

afraid they'd drown in the sky
if they looked up.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

When The Walls Stop Screaming

For anyone else, the stairs would have creaked with every step, but for me, all I could hear was the pounding of my heart as I challenged every last riser to do its worst. Nary a squeak or a groan.

I could hear voices above me, but no sound of movement, and I hadn't expected any. I continued climbing, my very un-special self in very un-special shoes, silently but casually.

This was a test, but not unlike every other test I put myself through, every day of the invisible life that I lived. I was a man that blended into the backdrop, and had been through trials and watched other go through trials that made me ever the more grateful for my innate ability to make people forget that I was there.

This set of stairs, however, was very different. This set of stairs was designed to announce every visitor, except those that knew the sweet spots to step. I did not know them, but climbed them anyway. I didn't touch the handrail, which would have been too obvious of a trick: it was clearly not fastened well and probably would fall if I put any weight at all on it. Neither did I touch the banister. Instead, with one hand in my pocket holding my keys still and the other stroking the wall very gently, if for no other reason than reassurance, I climbed up the stairwell and into the landing at the top.

I kept a straight face, and didn't even let myself cheer inside that I had done it. At the top of the stairs, I stopped, leaned lightly against the wall, and watched the meeting pass in the room before me. No-one noticed me.

The heaviest portion of my presence was my gaze, and eventually, someone looked up and saw me. Their double-take was all the compliment I needed, and all the invitation. I took a step forward and the rest of the room caught my movement in the corner of their eyes, turned, and followed my movement toward their meeting table with only their eyes, should their necks or chairs creak with any movement.

The gentleman who had spotted me gestured to an empty chair at the end of the table, but I politely and wordlessly declined. Instead, I pulled up a piece of floor and lowered myself down carefully.

He nodded, pleased with my choice, and the meeting resumed before me.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Liars (Mature)

Mature Content

Aasiya held Diaab's hand as they walked to the fenced-in desolation that used to be their school's playground.

"The survey man was at our house yesterday."

Aasiya held her breath, fearing what would come next.

"There was the party member with his suitcase and two heavy men. I recognized the party member, he usually smiles at me in the street but he wasn't smiling yesterday. Mother ushered me outside while they spoke with Father."

She let out some of it, grateful so far.

"Mother told me not to tell the men that I'm gay if they asked."

"You're not gay, sweetheart." She stroked his hair as they sat on a makeshift bench in one corner of the razed playground. "You like me remember?"

He pushed her hand away. "I can't keep pretending!"

"Hush." She planted a finger on his lips, and then followed it by her own lips. "You can't tell them that you're gay."

"But why not?"

"You saw those two heavies, didn't you?"

"So? They're just there to keep people from lying and attacking the party member."

"No, sweetheart. Do you remember what the President said? 'There are no homosexuals in Iran.' You can't be gay because there aren't any gays here."

"Then what am I?"

"You're mine, sweetie."

"And those men?"

"How many gays do you know, sweetie?"

He shook his head.

"That's because there aren't any. Those two men are to keep people from saying they're gay. That's a lie, because there aren't any gays here. If you claim to be gay, those two men will rape you. Everybody knows gays have sex by sticking their penises in other gays' butts. Those men will do that to you, and your mother, and your father. That's how people lie."

"What about you, Aasiya?"

"What about me, Diaab?"

"You dress like a girl and everything, but--"

"But nothing, silly boy. I'm a girl." She stuck out her tongue at him.

"What about that thing betwe--"

"I told you about that," she said suddenly, with a strange, deep, dangerous tone in her voice, "because I trust you. It's a growth. Cancer. My twin sister had it too and she died. I was lucky. Remember that."

He nodded, frightened even more.

"Stop shaking, sweetie. Nobody's going to hurt you as long as you're with me. Now get over here and kiss your tragic love connection." Her sweet voice was back and he leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Am I Falling?

I can hardly tell if I'm falling
since I don't know which way is up.
wrap me in my arms so tight;
solo will I be strong enough?