Tuesday, November 30, 2010

(Climbing Out Of Bed Is) A Chance Game

you can toss me
you can push me
you can throw me away
you can punish
you can torture
you can rue my every day
you can bully
you can tease
you can watch me tally the days
til it's over
til it's over
til I go my own way.

Betrayed By A Smile

you can smile at me all you want,
but you can't tear my love apart,
I'm taken, committed, vouched fo--
          ...damn, there goes my heart.

Monday, November 29, 2010


it's easier to ignore you
when I never see your place,
it's easier to forget you
when I don't wince at your grace.
it's easier to unimagine you
when I can't chance seeing your face,
it's easier, so much easier,
when you're not living in that space.

don't leave me any tokens--
I'm already trying to forget your name,
and the scars that are most permanent
never see the light of day.
don't leave parting remarks,
don't invite me to your ball,
don't try to repair anything,
just stop storming down my hall.


I can see all I need to see,
trapped here in this room with me,
locked away behind the screen:
every thing that makes me free.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Why Do You Fear Witches?

I can see right through the shattered window,
though the pane still stays whole;
I can see right around that corner,
I know you're coming so I don't need to hope.

I know it's ghastly, and you'll recoil,
but who I am, what I see, can't be foiled...
I don't speak of fear:
that rope's long been near,
I don't understand why your blood has to boil.

Where Are We Going?

wind me 'round and 'round,
and I'll be sure you come along,
pull me by my art's heart,
I'll soon be singing your own song.

claim me by my o-rings,
my anchors, wire, and chain;
claim me, don't you shame me,
or I'll do the very same.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Only Water (Mature)

Mature Content

"I bet you thought you were done with me," I heard over the sound of the shower and the door creaking. I recognized the voice immediately, and kept my eyes closed.

I shower in the dark, and the opening door brought in unwanted light. Fortunately, the voice closed it again shortly, though from the sounds of the floorboards, the voice's owner was within the bathroom, not without.

I sighed, loudly and intentionally, and the voice laughed. I hate that laugh.

"You're going to regret everything you've ever done to me, everything you've ever thought about doing to me, and everything you would never think to do."

I heard the whisper of clothes coming off and being laid on the floor gently, trying to be unheard.

"You're going to regret everything, and I'm going to enjoy this."

I felt as much as I heard the shower curtain being pulled back, with no intended subtlety. I considered opening my eyes, but abstained.

Lips brushed my own, a hand stroked from my shoulder to my scrotum, and I succeeded in not flinching. More skin press against me, trying to engulf me, but I would not be contained.

I opened my eyes, and I could see.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

My Cup Runneth Over

whisper through the trees
and whisper throu-ough me,
whisper in my mind,
take the gale, take the grind,
and the wind will set you free.

hold your ground and hold the sky,
hold the chalice and the rye,
(to the Goddess I do make
and worship She will take;
all others need not apply)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


when you pass, you fondle my ears,
and I have nothing more to say;
I used to wear them just for me,
but now it's to make your day.

you always stop at just my ears;
ever wish to reach for more?
maybe they're furrier than the rest of me,
won't know til you explore...

Monday, November 15, 2010

White Mistress

The leaves were already turning, and it felt too soon, like spring had just left and summer should still be in full bloom. But no, the leaves were turning, and beginning to fall.

I stumbled through the woods to find my resting ground, where I would lie through the snow and dream of spring rains; where I would sleep through the cold and garb myself in my own warmth and the muted warmth of the earth rising below me; when I came across winter's own mistress. The cold was always harsh to me, leaving my joints aching and begging for relief, but she was beautiful. My heart whispered sweet nothings that fell and froze on unhearing ears.

I found I could not move, crouched in the shadows of a nearly bare bush. She was simply too alluring. As sunlight stabbed down into the clearing, shifting and weaving about herself, I realized she was not alone.

Two snow-white peacocks wove in the darkness of the woods and glowing light of the clearing around her. Their brightness against my world of darkness left spots on my vision, until all I could see were their trails.

Slowly again, the spots faded and no one and nothing danced before me. My joints groaned in pain, and I crawled carefully forward. Above, flakes of snow were beginning to fall. I stretched again, before hurrying on my way.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Everything I Am

I've given all that I have,
and you still turn away...
don't cover your ears,
don't misquote what I say.

I've carried all your burdens
and I've felt all your strikes,
forgive me for running
and forgive that I hide.

I'm losing all my strength
and I'm losing all my friends...
they stole all my crutches
and I'm approaching my end.

I'm begging you to hold me,
pleading for shelter through the storm,
please give me your blessings
since I refuse to conform.

Friday, November 12, 2010

It Will Never Work

you can spill them on the table,
on the counter,
on the floor...
you can spill them where you care to,
I won't clean them up anymore.

you can leave them there to rot,
to compost,
or to mold,
you can leave them there forever,
but this is really getting old.

you can try to run away from me,
push away,
leave me alone.
you can try to beat the best of me,
but you'll never take my home.

I Want To Be Human

I never feel less human
staring at me staring back at you,
my eyes are having trouble tracking
and they're stuck boring you through.

I never feel less human
with my body broken on the floor,
my joints won't bend, muscles won't pull
to push me out the door.

I never feel less human
while my brain continues to tick,
it's processing and whirring,
but I can't make one thought stick.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Learning To Understand

butterflies in my eye
and caterpillars in my hand,
landing on me,
trusting me,
in ways I don't understand.

speckles in my cornea
and light streaming from my eye,
I trust I'll know
how to live with the glow,
and take everything else in stride.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

My Olympus

I can see the gravel,
little stones making up the road,
shaloming between the cliffs,
up the mountain, tall and whole.

I can walk the road,
see all the houses on the plain,
meet all the people who didn't climb,
who didn't question or complain.

I can breach the enbankment,
feel the strain in my legs,
push my body to the limit,
to live, not sip the dregs.

I can feel my muscles complaining,
but the view is worth the pain,
I can see the people below,
like sheep upon the plain.

I will keep climbing,
though the road gets harder still,
sinking my own pitons
in the curiosity of my will.

I still am climbing,
up the mountain that bears all names,
it could as easily be Olympus,
but the point is still the same.

I have climbed out of the foothills,
which you barely tread at all;
I have so much more to gain,
so much further to fall.

But I still know it's worth it
to discover who I am.
I am searching for my purpose,
all I ask is for a hand.

Am I Allowed To Breathe?

why can't I hold you in my arms
when I see different shapes in the stars,
why must you sound the alarm
light your torches, burn my cairns?

why can't I celebrate with you,
why can't we stand shoulder to shoulder,
why must you light the pyre,
why must my body smoulder?

I'm going to stand tall
even if you step back and wait for me to fall.
I'm going to stand stong
even if you insist my truth is wrong.

I'm going to keep on going,
keep on standing tall and strong,
and if you're not there with me,
if you're not going to sing with me,
I'll sing a solo for my song.

I'm crawling trying to find me,
I might trip, stumble, flinch,
but I'm learning, growing, finding,
there's no need to play the Grinch.

if I can't keep my family,
I'll keep closer my friends,
I can't choose my blood,
but I know who'll be there til the end.

if you won't let me believe
what hope my heart calls to,
why should I breathe...
what else can I not do?