Tuesday, April 7, 2020


baby-faced and sec-serv
takes the insult as a comp'
and watches the kids.

he be the one
they don't try to dodge,
he looks just like
their friends.

Monday, April 6, 2020


---fall asleep


hope for
two weeks
until I may
be held again

fear for
two weeks
looming overhead

hope, don't

Sunday, April 5, 2020


seconds counting down to sleep
when I suddenly realize I
haven't written today

hurry before I--- 

Saturday, April 4, 2020


shivers in the sway
wrapped tight in thunder
cold but comfortable

bladder persists.

NaPoWriMo 2020

Friday, April 3, 2020


i almost didn't work today

waking with
finger aching
toes numb
feet tingling
ankles stiff
nose bruised
ears sore

sounds to me
a mental health holiday

be more ready to work again on


NaPoWriMo 2020

Thursday, April 2, 2020


gloves on
face turned down
breathing hard through
my face mask
(thanks jamo)
any other day
people would look
at me like i was strange
but today
they look
at me with jealousy.

NaPoWriMo 2020

Wednesday, April 1, 2020


profess innocence.
play the room.
be everyone's best friends.
stab them all in the back.
hate indiscriminately.
don't fall in love.
promise to forgive.
never forget.
drink plenty of water.
eat the bar snacks.
tip your waiter

NaPoWriMo 2020

Saturday, March 28, 2020

(in the darkness)

Mature Content

flesh brushes mine.

a sigh, soft fingertips,
palm on my chest,
step sideways
out of the water.

apply shampoo to my hair,
comb it through,
let it soak.

sponge bounces off belly,
lands on my foot.
bend carefully,
hand on wall,
head leans forward,
brushes flesh not mine,
grasp the sponge,
pick it up,
soap myself down.

a hand, again,
turn, pass it back,
back is washed.

a sigh.
soft fingertips,
step sideways
under the water.

pass a bottle,
pass a sponge,
wash the back,
trade again.

fingertips wander,
catch flesh belonging
to another,

showering in a pitch black room with someone else, sharing the water

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Untitled (5 March 2020)

"Wait, stop! You can't go in there!"

"Oh. Sorry."

"Umm, where are you going?"

"Somewhere else."

"You're not going to try to go in there anyway?"


"Oh. ...What if I say it's okay?"

"No thanks."

"Then what was the point?"

"I guess there wasn't one."

Saturday, February 15, 2020

Untitled (15 Feb 2020)

Sometimes I use color to demote different voices, but not everybody can see color changes, so when I have the freedom and available formatting to do something different, I will.

This time, I did something different. One voice always speaks at odd numbered timestamps, the other only at even numbered ones. 

Mature Content

1241> hey, I noticed from one of your posts that you may be in the [redacted] area. any interest in playing with a late-20s fit white male?

1428> depends what kind of play you're looking for.

1951> honestly, I'd go for just about anything. I'm vers. you?

1954> vers too, but presenting as ace right now. looking for platonic stuff. no sex or romance.

1957> what are you looking for?

2112> cuddling, non-sex little/big, could go for a bit of primal play even.

2113> I'm not really a little.

2115> are you?

2122> sometimes.

2123> what about right now?

2128> yes.

2129> so you want, what? hugging? spooning? being held? possibly a little wrestling?

2142> wouldn't be against having my hair played with, but yes, yes, yes.

2143> but no sex

2146> no sex. nothing against arousal or attraction, I'm just not into that kind of release right now.

2147> can we meet somewhere?

2210> neutral ground first.

2211> where?

Friday, January 31, 2020

Untitled (31 Jan 2020)

I've seen a lot of people come and go. This life isn't for everyone, you understand that?

Look, do take off your jacket, have a seat. You're in if you want to be in, but this isn't a choice you want to be hasty about. Sorry, let me get those books out of your way. Tea?

Of course you can change your mind. That's the whole point, isn't it. You don't just sit in silence and darkness, it's supposed to be meditation. You're elevating yourself. Perfection from within, or so I'm told.

Yes, I think we've had a few ascendencies. We don't really track them, you know. No point in trying to free your mind if you're chained down by paperwork. That's my job.

No, I really just keep track of the empty rooms. Look, the agency may care about your name and where you're from, but it's not something we focus on. I've never been any good with names anyway. All that matters is that I'm talking with You, and as long as You know You've got my full attention, what else does it matter what name was assigned to You before You had any say in it?


My point is, I keep track of empty rooms. When there's an empty room, or more than one, I call up the agency, tell them we have such and so many vacancies, and then they send people to me to fill them. I don't know why the rooms were empty; whether it was an ascendency or just someone who decided he didn't have it in him, and he slipped away and went back to society.

The gate is only locked from the outside, and the guard is only there to make sure no one slips in.

Sure, I suppose you could come back, but once the room is empty, it goes to the agency. If you wanted to go through everything again and come back to me, then I don't see why not. I don't really know why someone would leave only to come back again.

The world doesn't change. We change.

I just call it a room. Some people don't like the word "cell." I don't much care for it myself. Has some weighty connotations.

We have gardens. No animals though, not for eating.

Mostly self-sufficient, yes. We get a little from the state, though I don't think they get anything from us, asides from a little tourism on field days.

Once a year for the main cloister. Ten for the next, and a hundred after that.

No, I haven't. Last was a couple years before I was born. I should be so lucky to see the next one.

I honestly don't know. Maybe if you find out, you could tell me how. Maybe they have their own little agency, when they get a vacancy.

That's just old wives tales. No thousand year club. Only the hunners, the tenners, and the yearlies. I don't even know what you'd call them. Mils, maybe? Anything else?

You have until the next field day. If you're not inside the gates when they close, you lose your spot. I believe it's three days from tomorrow.

Yes, next year we get the tenners too. It's quite the day to behold. I wouldn't miss it for the world. With any luck, we'll see you there too.

Tuesday, January 14, 2020


It's really difficult to write a conversation without using names, and nigh impossible to convey different nameless voices in text. So I use color. I know it's an imperfect solution, but it's the one I've got.

Contains harsh language.

"How did we even end up with this guy? I mean, that username he uses is totally accurate! He calls himself the living embodiment of human mediocrity...damn straight. Why couldn't we have gotten a cop or a programmer or another hacker; you can never have too many hackers, that's what I always say."

"Shut up, you never say that."

"How would you know, we've known each other all of what, a few months?"

"It doesn't matter. Fate or chance gave him to us, and I can only believe there's a reason."

"You believe there's a reason for everything. You could find meaning in a bird crapping on your head."

"Just because you don't know what the meaning is doesn't mean there isn't one."

"Whatever. Do we have a way to find this Dr Visla or not?"

"We've got nothing. He's been too careful."

"Umm, may I..."

"Look, you're worthless enough as it is, can't you just keep your thoughts to yourself when your betters are talking?"

"Fifty-four, fifty-eight, thirty-seven point one. Negative one twenty-six, nine, thirty-seven point two."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Look there. Or don't."

"Oh, leave him alone, he's just doing his best. Not his fault he doesn't have any particular..."

"What the fuck..."

"What is it?"

"He's done it... you've... oh, he's gone."

"What is it?"

"We've got Visla."