Saturday, February 4, 2012

Because We ALL Are Dying

Live like you're dying... -Kris Allen

It's that time of year again, but this year I'm treating it with a bit more caution than reference. Her birthday may be approaching, but there's an anniversary I'm much more concerned about: in a few weeks, it will have been one year since you last harrassed me.

"Kit killer"? Really? It's been how many years and that's the best you can come up with? I know creativity never was your strong suit, but that's just pathetic. You get a few points for the alliteration, but those pale in comparison to the length of time it took for you to come up with it.

Was it twenty-one last year? Twenty-two this year, then. Yes, that feel right. Hardly a week goes by that I don't think about her, and wonder "what if?" Yes, there are things I regret from those days, but unless you're more of an idiot than I take you for, you should be regretting some things too. Then again, I don't think you ever had the whole story; I had most of it, and I haven't shared it. Many secrets about those last weeks will follow me to the grave.

What I do know and remember is how happy you were when you heard we were broken up, and I know how long and hard you fought to break us up.

So you blame me for her death because I broke up with her, something you fought so diligently for. Unless you're as blind as you are stupid (honestly, it wouldn't surprise me), you should be blaming yourself as much as me.

That said, if you pull a repeat of last year, or try to step it up any, I will be going to the police. There is little they can do shy of filing a report, despite my evidence of harassment (and I keep records and copies of everything), but if something happens, they will dig out that report, and they will know who to go to when they start looking for someone to blame.

Yes, I miss her. Yes, it still hurts. Yes, I expect it will continue to hurt for a long time, especially since I'm not one who forgives easily, and that includes forgiving myself.

And yes, if you continue to try to harrass me, you will regret it. This isn't a threat, it's a promise.

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