Thursday, October 7, 2010

Proof That I'm Invisible

I used to sneak up on people while wearing chain pants and bright shirts. It's true that I'm good at walking quietly, but neither am I that good nor always trying. They always complimented my quietness, but that's not it. I'm just the invisible man.

I have so much difficulty getting jobs--my applications just disappear in the stack. Even if I'm perfectly qualified, they'll still pass over me.

I vanish in crowds, or when I'm alone and a crowd passes by. Nobody sees me until I'm in their way, until they're trying to walk through a space that I already occupy and we collide; then it's my fault because I "came out of no-where." That's a direct quote.

It extends to my car too. Other vehicles turn into me, cut me off, pedestrians step right out in front of me, and when we collide--more often the vehicles than the pedestrians--I "came out of no-where" again and it's my fault because I "had to be driving too fast," especially in residential areas where I always go below the speed limit, much to the annoyance of vehicles behind me that are trying to drive through me.

I'm just as invisible as the hawk overhead that nobody sees because nobody bothers to look up. Nobody bothers to pay attention to me, until it's too late. And, as always, it's my fault.

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I've been told by McDonald's that they won't hire me three times, and the only time I got any reasoning behind the decision, they told me I didn't talk enough. First off, it's fast food, so the focus should be on efficiency--get in, get out, get on with life--as opposed to entertainment and socializing--keep them talking until they're hungry again or their food gets cold and they're late for whatever appointment that have set--and that's not to say I'm one to skimp on customer service.

I've been told by Barnes and Noble that I sounded perfect for the position they were hiring for and they'd "definitely get back in touch" with me, only to find out a couple of months later, after they hadn't called, that they filled the position internally.

I've shown up for planned group gatherings that I've RSPV'ed for well in advance, and found the host missing, then called the contact number, left a voice message, and never heard from them for months. The most recent one was at Morton Arboretum, and I'm still waiting.

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Now, my seasonal summer job is coming to a close and I'm having trouble finding a job. There are few enough here as it is and nobody can seem to see me or my applications. When I've called to inquire, as I always do, either they tell me not to call, or can't find record of my application.

So, does anybody have a job for an invisible man? How many people do you know who can put that on their resume?

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