Wednesday, October 27, 2010

After The Storm



lock me in a wind tunnel and suck out all the air,
kiss goodbye all promises and close your tired eyes,
regress into your dreams and memmories,
regress into the night,
I'll keep falling back through the years
to when I held you in my sight.

lock me in the emptiness that has no seeing bounds,
kiss me on the wisp of dreaming that you're still around,
let me fall backwards into what's left of the moon,
remember me when the time comes...
remember how I miss you.

light all the matches, all the candles, all the sea,
light all the pathways, all the hallways, all the trees,
light every prayer stick, all the incense, all the hearts,
leave them burning until we're no longer pulling us both apart.

lock me in a wind tunnel and suck out all the air,
lock me away where nobody can see me or can stare.

lock me in the emptiness that has no seeing bounds,
tell me this isn't loneliness and your spirit still holds it's ground.

kiss goodbye all promises when tonight I close my eyes,
and when morning finally comes,
tell me I'll be alright inside.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Squatters, Inc Proposal



Look around.

In this troubling economy, there are too many companies that have closed their doors leaving so many warehouses and industrial parks empty for want of tenants.

For every warehouse that has closed its doors, hundred of jobs are taken away, leaving so many families without a steady source of income. They may lose their house, their cars, and more.

These warehouses are standing empty, and with no one to buy or lease their space, the banks and owners draining their pockets waiting for the economy to turn around.

This is where Squatters, Inc. comes in.

Squatters, Inc rents warehouse space below cost from the owners, because some income is better than no income at all. Through cooperating with your cities and townships, Squatters, Inc subleases the warehouses to those who have lost their jobs. Rent is based on square footage: the more space you need, the more space you pay for, and every tenant gets a roof over their heads.

Squatters, Inc will even help you move, contracting local moving companies and college students, keeping your money helping the local economy.

With so many empty warehouses and house foreclosures, there's no shortage of room, and Squatters, Inc is here to help.

Are you a loan representative concerned about the drain on your resources and eager to sell at any cost? If you find a buyer while we rent out the property, that's not a problem. Let us know when you're getting ready to close a deal and we will clear out the warehouse in forty-eight hours.

That's the beauty of Squatters, Inc: we're here to help get your local economy on its feet.

--
Squatters, Inc
Helping your economy get back on its feet with local support and local resources

Sunday, October 17, 2010

More Than Just Portraits

i don't know what you see in me
but it's not what i am inside;
i've read all your classifieds,
and you don't hold my key.

There's No REDO In RElatiOnship

getting back with my exs is pointless:
I'd just repeat the same mistakes.
if it didn't work the first time,
this try sure won't take.

getting back with an ex means
not following a promise through.
I have yet to see a reason
to make exception to a rule.

I don't get back with exes,
no matter what you think...
I may flirt or tease but I won't
trust a ship I know will sink.

Making Silence

you can stop my voice
but you cannot stop my head,
you can stop listening,
so I'll think these thoughts instead.

you can cross me out
and don't think of me at all,
but I'm still watching watching...
I'll quietly watch you fall.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

This Is Why I Hate You (Mature)

Mature Content
--

not for your owner,
who's done me so much pain,
who's burned up all my bridges,
who's convinced we are the same.

not for your family,
who hates me through and through,
but for something you did...
for the things you can't undo.

she still loves me but she's scared,
she remembers who I am,
she remembers all our work,
she remembers all I planned;

she still loves me but she's scared,
and has anger in her heart;
you stole away the beauty
and tore apart the art.

she still loves me but does blame me
for the intruder in her home,
she still loves me but she needs me
to take frustrations when we're alone.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Visiting Bellona

if you can leave you're not really here,
it gets in your blood, in your dreams, in your fears,
it gets in your pores and never washes away,
if it gets in then it's there to stay.

if your fingernails are ever clean,
no stains on your face or on your jeans,
if you forget this feeling of being free,
you were never here, you can never leave.

Reading Is Training Enough (Mature)

Mature Content
--

I picked up the scalpel and looked at it queerly. The nurses and doctors around me glanced at me nervously. A young tech, who was standing right next to me at the time, took my elbow gently with one hand; with his other hand, he carefully took the scalpel and turned it around.

"It goes this way, sir."

I giggled. He was funny. My chuckle must have been distorted coming through the paper mask, because the other doctors were looking concerned. I think it was because they couldn't see my broad smile that everybody tells me is reassuring.

"Come on, folks, let's get to work!" I did a poor moonwalk closer to the body, and another tech appeared at my other elbow, gently holding on. I pulled them closer to the table, and leaned forward ready to make the first incision.

~

I was still grinning when my alarm went off, and even still when I walked into work. That doctor was a lot like me, I was certain, because I'm a virgin and I work at an adult store. But none of this stuff I sell can hurt anybody, right? I've read up on these things and know where they go, mostly.

Death By Back-Stabbing

this is my new friend and my faith,
this is the light and the glow;
this is my hope and my way,
this is the mic and the show;
this is my future and my home,
though we all stand up here alone,
this is what I've always known.

these are the lights in my eyes,
more eternal than the longest sunrise,
my one and my friend,
my life and my end,
where I'm happy, where I'm healthy, where I'm home.

when you hear the words I say,
you learn I can't die alone:
I've married my muse,
the stage and the blues,
I'm with friends til I close my eyes.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Proof That I'm Invisible

I used to sneak up on people while wearing chain pants and bright shirts. It's true that I'm good at walking quietly, but neither am I that good nor always trying. They always complimented my quietness, but that's not it. I'm just the invisible man.

I have so much difficulty getting jobs--my applications just disappear in the stack. Even if I'm perfectly qualified, they'll still pass over me.

I vanish in crowds, or when I'm alone and a crowd passes by. Nobody sees me until I'm in their way, until they're trying to walk through a space that I already occupy and we collide; then it's my fault because I "came out of no-where." That's a direct quote.

It extends to my car too. Other vehicles turn into me, cut me off, pedestrians step right out in front of me, and when we collide--more often the vehicles than the pedestrians--I "came out of no-where" again and it's my fault because I "had to be driving too fast," especially in residential areas where I always go below the speed limit, much to the annoyance of vehicles behind me that are trying to drive through me.

I'm just as invisible as the hawk overhead that nobody sees because nobody bothers to look up. Nobody bothers to pay attention to me, until it's too late. And, as always, it's my fault.

~

I've been told by McDonald's that they won't hire me three times, and the only time I got any reasoning behind the decision, they told me I didn't talk enough. First off, it's fast food, so the focus should be on efficiency--get in, get out, get on with life--as opposed to entertainment and socializing--keep them talking until they're hungry again or their food gets cold and they're late for whatever appointment that have set--and that's not to say I'm one to skimp on customer service.

I've been told by Barnes and Noble that I sounded perfect for the position they were hiring for and they'd "definitely get back in touch" with me, only to find out a couple of months later, after they hadn't called, that they filled the position internally.

I've shown up for planned group gatherings that I've RSPV'ed for well in advance, and found the host missing, then called the contact number, left a voice message, and never heard from them for months. The most recent one was at Morton Arboretum, and I'm still waiting.

~

Now, my seasonal summer job is coming to a close and I'm having trouble finding a job. There are few enough here as it is and nobody can seem to see me or my applications. When I've called to inquire, as I always do, either they tell me not to call, or can't find record of my application.

So, does anybody have a job for an invisible man? How many people do you know who can put that on their resume?

Monday, October 4, 2010

You Can't Reach Far Enough To Save Me

take a magnet to my computer
and a hammer to my head,
take all those steps back
from the safe wall--instead
lean over the cliff
with no rope to hold me high.
I'll jump and leap and fall,
and never learn to fly.

take back all these years
like there never passed a day
since I missed your presense,
since you went away.
take me back to the beginning,
back to the start.
gravity's pulling,
you're still holding my heart.

I'll come crashing down,
everything split in two,
nothing left for anyone,
unable to live for you.
what's wrong with the ideal?
a mountain they cannot scale,
a gorge they cannot bridge,
a test they'll always fail.

it always hits the hardest,
alone, late at night,
with nobody there to whisper
"everything'll be all right."

don't speak to me of rebounds,
'til you've played the game like me,
I'm the only player,
the devil's the referee.
don't speak to me of rebounds,
I keep tossing mine all true,
but the devil makes up details
and each time is a redo.

don't tell me how it hurts,
between your heart and your head;
just leave and keep staying whole
while I, here, am broken instead.
don't tell me why it hurts,
my standard's pretty high--
you may have scaled mountains
but I fell from the sky.
--

Stanza 2, Lines 5-8 and Stanza 3, Line 1 are from Mat Kearney's Undeniable and I claim no ownership to them.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Walk With Me

roll down your windows,
scale back the roof,
turn off the A/C,
and I'll give you proof...

leave you little
combustion engine behind;
leave your closed-off world
and come visit mine.

if you can't smell the trees,
you're not really here;
get off your ass
and get it in gear.

if you can't hear the birds,
they'll shit on your car.
come on closer;
you don't have to go far.

it's hardly a nautre walk
if you're not face-to-face...
come walk with me
and measure my pace.

A Prayer In Limericks

give me a place view a view,
a way to reach up and touch you,
four fingers of stone
never alone,
and opportunity to worship and learn.

give me the long quiet road,
through fields long over-plowed,
a home at the end,
for myself, and friends,
and the peace for which I've yearned.

give me my inheritance in trees,
where birds are fish set free,
broad waves of green
who are what they mean,
and I have no wealth left to spurn.

give me nothing I haven't earned,
let me toil, let me harvest, let me learn,
let me build with my hands
these earth-crafted lands,
let me appreciate your hard work in turn.