Wednesday, November 8, 2006

When I Kneel

the touch of a hand on my shoulder,
   when I can see nobody there;
the warmth of an arm holding me close,
   so I know that He still cares.

I've had my time to wander and search,
   He has let me hide and doubt;
but when the trauma comes, and the grief,
   He knows I never kicked him out.

He understands I refuse to return
   to the church and what they preach,
but as long as I acknowledge Him in my own way
   I can receive what He needs to teach.

when I go to bed at night
   and miss feeling her body close,
I know that she--through His loving touch
   will never let me go.

and when I stagger through the halls
   with my bags heavy on my back,
I know that They are helping me bear the weight,
   whispering to keep me on track.

when I get lost in the fog
   that shrouds this plane in fear,
when I yearn for blindness in His Sight,
   and for darkness to come near,

He is keeping close company,
   keeping close but letting me flail.
and when I remember that I need to live,
   He's there to light the trail.

He will help me when I ask,
   when I humbly bow my head---
for I never do stand so tall
   than when I kneel instead.

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